Okay… this is the best idea I can come up with in the absence of a forum. If you’ve wandered into this page from my “Little Ones Lost” site, and have a story to post, please reply here with a COMMENT and leave your story.
Posting your story here gives me permission to copy it over to the main website if it is suitable. Stories used on the site may be edited slightly for grammar and content, etc. Stories here will remain as you posted them (unless you use foul languate, tear down the church, etc, which is not allowed here.) Also, if your story is not YOUR OWN, or is not specifically about miscarriage and/or pregancy loss it will be removed. You can find some basic “what do I say?” guidelines to get you started on the main website, under the “Submit” link.
I have received several stories since the last forum went down, which I will post as comments so they can be read and you can see how this works. Every story is meaningful and needs to be heard. Thank you for sending them in. I appreciate your courage and empathize with your loss.
Please ONLY use this thread to post YOUR OWN STORY. Do not reply to others’ stories or leave comments for them in this post. Please use the “POST FEEDBACK” topic for that purpose.
Again, if you’re coming in from another blog site or don’t know what this is all about, please visit: http://home.sprintmail.com/~adamszoo/LOindex.html
Since this site is basically set up as a support for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in helping cope with miscarriage and pregnancy loss, if you don’t know what that is and would like to know more about my faith, please visit: http://www.mormon.org/.
Thank you!
Little Lost Ones: Stories of LDS Miscarriage, Stillbirth, & Ectopic Pregnancy 
Sent in by RENEE from TX, 12-07-07:
Me and my husband have been married for almost 3 years. I have a 6 year old son with another guy. I have been in love with my husband since I was 15 years old, so I was very excited to get married and start a family with him
At first he didnt want to have a baby, he wanted to get stable first as we would go back and forth living in apartments or with his mom. He finally decided about a year after we were married I could quit taking birth control and try to have a baby. I thought I didnt have any problems getting pregnant with my son that this would be no problem.
Months went buy and nothing. I would take pregnancy test probably 2-3 times a month because I would think the others were wrong. I finally went to see my ob doctor to see what could be done to help me. They did blood work and told me I have PCOS and prescribed me medicine that should help me. I do not have regular periods as a side effect of PCOS.
I guess I finally stop worrying all the time and I actually didnt take a test for a couple of months. I had no signs of being pregnant execpt my boobs were a little sore, I dont know why I decided to take the test because I had just got off my period (this was around Oct. 17th or so) I took the test at night while my husband was at work and I was sitting there saying to myself I dont wanna look at it because I know its gonna be neg and I cant take it anymore. I finally looked at the test and it was faint but positive. I took a min and called my husband and he told me to wait a couple of days and take the other one. Well I couldnt wait I got up the next morning and took it and it was positive. I think in total I took 5 tests to make sure.
We told our family the news and was very happy. I had already been looking a baby stuff and wanting to buy stuff. We had picked out the names already.
I called one dr that i had been going to and they would not see me for a month and I didnt know how far along I was, so I called the dr that delivered my son and went and had the consultaion and by this time I had started spotting a brown color and where I had my previous c section was hurting. She told me this was normal in the first trimester but the dr was out of town and if it continued I could go to ER. Well I really didnt hurt but I had waited for this for so long I wanted to go to ER because I figured they would do a sonogram and I wanted that so I could see that my baby was fine. I went to the ER on a Thurs. The ER doctor did blood work and a vaginal exam, she came in and said everything is fine with the pregnancy but I have a UTI. I went to work the next day and left because my side was hurting. I thought it was because of the UTI. Saturday came and I was running around with my mom and that afternoon I felt like I had gas in my shoulder. I put heat on it and the pain
went away but then returned. I finally just told my husband I am going to bed. I went to bed but could not get comfortable and told my husband I dont know if I should go back to the ER of if I am just being parinoid. The whole time my husband doesnt feel anything is wrong. I went and took a shower to see if that would stop the pain in my should, it didnt. I finally told my husband lets go back to the ER. I arrived at the ER around 9PM I sat in the waiting room for an hr and a half. They called me back and took my vitals and info and sent me back out to the waiting room because they had no open beds. I sat there another hr and got called back. The same dr I saw previosly came in and said I am going to do a sonogram this time. They immediatly came in a did the sonogram and took like 70 pictures. I kept trying to look at the screen but couldnt see anything. I asked the lady doing it if thier was even a baby in there ( of course I know she cant tell me anything), but she said b y my last period you wouldnt be able to see anything. So after she got through they came and took my blood. I laid in there wondering what was going on until about 2 in the morning and then by then I had 5 nurses in there putting iv’s in me and I still didnt know what was going on. The dr came in why they were all in there and said I will come back. She came back about an hr later and said It is not good you havge an ectopic pregnancy and it has ruptured and you are having er surgery as you are bleeding internally and your life is at risk. They had to call a dr that was on call for mine as he was still out of town. I told my husband to call my mom. I remember I was calm as I knew their was nothing I could do. They took me in the OR and gave me and injection in the IV and that is the last i remember until morning. My husband was thankful that I was okay, but they did have to take my right tube out. We are suppose to wait 3 months before trying again but I couldnt do that. I a m going next Wen for them to do a dye test on my left tube. I asked my husband what they did with the baby, but he doesnt know. I was so badly to go to the hospital and get the sonogram pictures as that is all I have. They told me I was acutally between 10-12 weeks and they baby was the size of a limel.
I dont know what the future will bring me but I hope I can have a healthy baby I felt as if my tube could have been saved if that dr had done a sonogram the first time.
Comment by Linda Adams — December 7, 2007 @ 6:11 pm
Sent in by MATTIE in FL 12-06-07:
2007 was like an nightmare for me and my husband so many problem,then I find out I was going to have a miracle another baby,we have two sons and was hoping for a daughter,I almost lost my life I felt my spirit leave my body,and I was like this it not time I need to live for my two boys.
And the heavenly father lets me have my soul back. Yes I had an miscarry but I am bless to see another day.
I am bless that I carry an wonderful soul,that return back to the Heavenly Creator. We should meet again me and my lost Baby. Until then I will hope and pray for a better tomorrow.
And keep my faith and Love for heavenly Father and my Family and Friends.
Comment by Linda Adams — December 7, 2007 @ 6:12 pm
Sent in by “MARY” on 11-27-07:
This was a very early miscarriage.It is very hard for me to tell my story because I am the only one who knew for sure that I was pregnant. Me and my husband were trying to get pregnant for many years,but it just didn’t happen,or I might have gotten pregnant ending in a series of miscarriages,I’m not sure. But this could be a possibility. I was researching this,and it said that if you have miscarriages that are really early,you might not even know you are having them,which may have happened to me. but this last one was different. Me and my husband have been trying this time for the last four to six months,and I have felt pregnant twice.I have a very sensitive stomach,so I know right away when something is different.I was having a tough time emotionally one particular night about not being a mom yet,so my husband gave me a blessing. He said that I was going to concieve that night. This took me by suprize! After the blessing,I asked him “Are you sure you didn’t put y our own thoughts into that blessing? and he told me “no,that’s what I felt I was suppose to say by the spirit”. And I said okay! Two days passed,and I started getting sick,and then after a week I had full blown symptoms of pregnancy,week after week they intensified.I took a pregnancy test,but I guess that early before your missed period,it doesn’t show up yet.I took pregnancy tests thoroughout this whole time I was pregnant,and they all said negative,but I knew I was pregnant,it was just too early to detect.And by the time it would have detected something,I wouldn’t have been pregnant anymore,and wasn’t! I tried to work and go to school,but it was so hard being sick and tired all the time,and all of the other symptoms I had. Then I started losing my symptoms by week four,or maybe the end of week three. After losing the symptoms,Me and my husband both felt sad,and I felt like there was a death in the family. I told a few people,but since I didn’t get a positive test result,th ey didn’t believe me. I was in denial that it even happened,and when people tryed to tell me that it didn’t happen, at first I believed them,thinking I was going crazy or something.I started bleeding after losing the symptoms.sometimes it was a little bit of blood,sometimes it was a lot of blood. at one point it was a lot of blood flow,and I started getting very scared! I was hysterical and almost went to the emergeny room. I had no idea that I was about to miscarry. what I was thinking is that I already did,and that it was so early on that it didn’t hurt,but that is not what happened. and while I was bleeding,I did go to the doctor,told him that I thought I had a miscarriage,and that I was bleeding non stop,and all they did is mark down I had accessive bleeding. at the point where the blood flow was the worst,I called and begged the doctor to give me something to stop the bleeding. they wanted to give me birth control to stop the flow,but I felt that maybe something needed to work out of my system,so I said no to the birth control for the time being. Then one day I started feeling agonizing pain. I couldn’t sit,stand,anything to get comfortable. I started to scream because the pain was so bad. My husband was at work,and I didn’t want to move. after hours of suffering, I finally passed a blood clot the size of my fist. I felt better immediately. It didn’t look like a baby,or tissue or anything,but I have reserched early pregnancies,and in the information I read it said that it would usually be in clots and that I wouldn’t have been able to tell because it’s so early. After this happened, I felt like the spirit told me in my heart to trust in my feelings,and if I feel pregnant,then I am. I know this is correct. I know I was pregnant and lost my baby. my husband gave me another blessing,and confirmed in the blessing that I was indeed pregnant. I have suffered a loss,and I am grieving from it. I have to do it alone though because no one in my fami ly believes me,they think it was just imbalanced hormones,or something else,but I know I was pregnant. I mentioned this in a LDS group online before,and I did find one person who expierienced the same thing,but she had the support of her family,I don’t. I pretty much have been keeping it quiet in my ward,but I did tell the bishop,and he understood. He also knows someone who had this same thing happen to them,so I know that I am not crazy. I also told my home teacher,and he is a paramedic,and responds to miscarriage calls all the time. he told me that the mom just knows,and that if I think I’m pregnant,then I probably am. the reason why I am writing this is not to get people to believe me,but to aknowledge my baby that was lost. It hurt that no one in my life aknowledged this life that was growing inside of me. And even though I was only pregnant for three and a half to four weeks,they still felt like long weeks because of all the sickness I felt,It felt like forever! I am mo urning,and I did experience a loss. The worldly view on this would never recognize the exsistance of this baby,and I guess my family wont either,and that hurts,but I know they existed,this baby just didn’t survive. After telling the bishop,I went home,and while I was sleeping,I heard a little voice say mommy. I have no idea if that was that baby,but I woke up,and I got really scared,and then I got really sad because I couldn’t raise that baby. I love this baby. and I know my husband does also. and people might say that the baby wasn’t suppose to survive because they were so special to heavenly father,and that may be true,but I still want that baby with me,and I am in mourning.I am having so much depression,that I am going to seek help and possibly get on antipressants. This miscarriage happened In August of this year(2007). I just know that I will have babies that will survive,I have hope. And I will never forget this baby. We wont give up. We know heavenly Father loves us, and wants us to be parents.
Comment by Linda Adams — December 7, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
Sent in by “SHELIA” on 11-27-07:
HELLO MY NAME IS SHELIA MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 15 YRS AND WE HAD TRIED SO VERY HARD TO GET PREGNANT BUT TO MUCH DISMAY NOTHING UNTIL OCTOBER OF THIS YR . I WENT TO THE DOCTOR FOR A ROUTINE CHECKUP AND LO AND BEHOLD THE WORDS I HAVE LONGED TO HEAR U R PREGNANT ! I WAS ESTATIC I CRIED ALL THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A VAGINAL ULTRASOUND I HAD BEEN HAVIN SOME BLEEDING SO SHE WANTED TO BE SURE . THEY SAID MY UTERUS LOOKED GOOD AND THE BABY SHOULD START TO GROW . 2 DAYS LATER I HAD A VERY SHARP PAIN IN MY LEFT SIDE SO I WENT BACK TO THE HOSPITAL THEY DID ANOTHER ULTRASOUND AND YET THEY SAID EVERYTHING WAS FINE SO I MADE AN APPT WITH AN OB SHE DID AN ULTRASOUND AND FOUND IT WAS AN ECTOPIC I WAS STUNNED AFTER ALL THESE YRS THE BABY I WANTED SO BAD WAS NOT GONNA BE SO ON NOV 8 I HAD SURGERY TO REMOVE MY LEFT OVARY AND TUBE AND NOW THE DOCTOR IS PUTTIN ME ON CLOMID TO SEE IF ITLL HAPPEN AGAIN I PRAY EVERYDAY IT DOES THANK GOD FOR THE OB THAT I WENT TO ..AND THA NK U FOR READIN MY STORY …PRAY FOR ME!!!
Comment by Linda Adams — December 7, 2007 @ 6:16 pm
Sent in by EMMA in the UK on 11-12-07:
my name is emma im 20years old,i had my ectopic 7months ago and still not over it,me an dmy fiance wanted a child so bad but nothing happened for over a year then i had really bad pains so went to the hospital they did a pregnancy test and it was positive i was so happy for a split second before they told me that they thought i was having a misscarage i didnt no what to think i couldnt think i didnt believe it i wanted them to be wrong i had to wait 2days before i had a scan to see what was happening i was alone and scared they wouldnt let my partner be with me for the scan or anything infact it hurt they did the scan and still told me nothing they finally told me an hour before my operation that i had had an ectopic pregnancy still alone i rang my family and my partner they came to the hospital it still didnt sink in untill i woke the next day in pay and empty they had to remove one of my tubes and repair the other as it was very damaged they told me i would most
probley need ivf but they wouldnt give me more information i dont no how far gone i was as my periods were never regular 7months on i have a day to day reminder a scar i see everytime i get dressed or do anything im still hurting and can get past this my brother in law is now having a baby and im very happy for them but the pain has got worse now and i cant get rid of it i try my hardest to be stong but when the doors are close and im alone i cry so hard ive had depresion now for 7months since the ectopic i just feel like a failure and i cant ever see my self been lucky enough to have a baby we have been trying again since the ectopic but with no success i have to do a pregnancy test everymonth doctors request as my periods are not regular and it kills me evertime they say its negative
Comment by Linda Adams — December 7, 2007 @ 6:18 pm